“Gave you your last chance but you didn’t believe me. You can’t keep me satisfied, the way that you treat me… It’s not love” DOKKEN – 1985…
So, I started working on this on 8/4/2016. It was supposed to be this whole blog on LOVE and it be positive AF; as I had been feeling rather good about the concept/subject as of late… Then after having some conversations with some women friends I have been talking to or, say, hey, trying to talk to, but it’s always bad timing and it’s so easy to ignore direct messages/texts these days…
I have also been open to dating again and talking to women only to have it leave a sour taste in my mouth, again… I have decided to just be my loud, true-self and if people don’t like it, F**k’em. NO Filter, Truth = #Truth = Kiss my Short Ass…
I try to appease the masses here and there and its SOOOOOOOOooooooooo NOT FK’n natural for me. I am sooooo rough. PERIOD. I am single by choice, because I choose a form of philosophy where it is about the group/team and not the pure self. My well-being is the most important thing in my life, which is, “MY•••LIFE…” It’s completely mine, no one else’s. I am the only source that can determine my positive personal identity. I do not contribute or participate into the negative social demands put upon men, like me, who work their asses off every second of my waking day, every day, by the woman, just so I can keep my head above water and make her content with that situation. Yeah, No Thank You on that front, we’re done here… #byefelicia
This makes it incredibly difficult when looking for a mate, you actually have life things in common with. Showing affection to a woman is like, one of the hardest things for me to achieve. Almost every time it has been thrown back in my face like it does not matter. This happens a lot to me. This is why this all goes to be mentioned. Does anyone even know what that does to someone’s confidence or their self-image on an intimate level? No, probably not. Maybe some of the women I call friends. Then there are the ones I call acquaintances. They probably call me Friend, I call them acquaintance. To me, a friend is there, not there when its convenient for them to be around or when they know I will pick up the tab or just be there when they need me to be there. When the shoe is on the other foot every single time the cheese stands alone. Mind you. I am the Cheese…
I am far from ruined or destroyed, but it’s not like I am the easiest guy to read in the room when it comes to feelings of the romantic sort. I am very guarded and obviously for good, damn, reasons these days. I used to think it was because I was short, but you know that isn’t it. If that is it… DAMN… We, humans, are in a very bad state of affairs, which we are, so there is that…
How many single parents out there or how many people were raised in broken homes that are reading this right now? Probably more than a few…. Yet, we all tend to put ourselves in the worst possible situation, time in and again, when it comes to love and relationships.
“True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend…” Old School – 2003
And that pretty much sums up trying to date in 2016. Its one extreme thing after another these days. One Crazy Story after another. One impossible situation after another… Some of the things I have seen women do to try to right that wrong is just as worst as the guy.
News Flash… Behind every crazy girl you meet, there is some douche-bag guy that made her that way. What came first the chicken or the egg??? From my point of view… Both sexes are to blame. Guy’s seem to always want greener grass, women never see the relevance of the red flag till it is too late.
I hardly see women modifying their tastes in guys to get the right one to treat her right on the inside. I see guy’s do this more than women, but that doesn’t mean one sex over the other either. Gender Equality – We’re Splitting the Bill… Guy’s Lie/Cheat/Manipulate on the girl. News Flash… The Girl does this as well. I have seen this happen so many times that it must be true, right? I can only judge what I experience and see from my perspective, right?
Most of my good girl friend’s from my adolescent life have moved on. Most won’t talk to me anymore; because they have crazy manipulative douche of a guy, that is so insecure he needs 2 belts to keep his pants on.
That does piss me off, all I have is good intentions and again, the subject of friends comes up. This really did light a fire under my ass to write this over the months. Like always, I get over things rather quickly.
I figure, “hey they always had a chance to be part of my life in some meaningful way and they choose not to, so why be nice over it, why be upset over it either?” Nope, just leave them where you found them. Confused AF… They are too… So…Confused…
One of the worst things about dating or going out on dates with potential mates is to hear about the last dick that f**ked them, I mean this, both literally and figuratively. What guy wants to know this stuff right out of the gates?
I go from, ok, she is cute, wouldn’t kick her outta the sack for eatin’ crackers, but telling me how messed up you are because guys treat you like crap just put you in the batshit-crazy-broad zone just like I am in the “friend’s zone.”
Us guy’s have our zones too to put the woman in, lol.. I have started to exercise that entitlement and it is an entitlement… I mean, I am a fk’n man.. I do as I please. Stop me if you can or I let you… Shut Up, lol… (Being a smart ass).
The root of the matter is; I know very few happy couples these days. I know some, but I really just don’t see that out and about as much. I usually see a guy lead and his silent hot girlfriend following. Worse, I will see the hot girlfriend lead and the guy follow, act like a jackass, but for some reason, that is what she likes about the guy.
I don’t know, maybe I have it all wrong. I would expect a real reaming from my woman if my acting out in public embarrassed her in some way. Most notice but don’t seem to care. Back to the Red Flags again.
I guess we all, guy and girl, have to have some hope and faith that we are true to ourselves enough, which is much harder than it seems, that the person in question will notice and be receiving to that. My intention was to make this very positive and filled with hope. I just SEE SO MUCH of what I have described here that it is hard to not mention it and focus squarely on that.
Now, 38 years old, single, no kids, no real past relevant relationships. My dating life has been very abnormal in the sense that I have never really been in anything serious. Committed, sure but not serious. Whenever serious came up, it was as if the conversation started, but I wasn’t told about it.
Decisions made and I have no input. “Cannot play with them, cannot win with them, cannot coach with them. Can’t do it. I want winners. I want people that want to win.” Michael Singletary. I know its a football quote, but damn its a great quote and sure we can apply it to love. For Michael Singletary, it was about the love of the game of football. Not the same but the same. Love is love and has no boundaries, right?
I do not want to be with someone I cannot play with, cannot win with, cannot coach or be coached with. Can’t do it. Won’t do it. I want a winner. I want a mate that wants to win. That certainly is not too hard to ask for, not at all right?
Passions are important. So look for someone that shares things you are passionate about. Not necessarily your passions just things you are passionate about. If its a religion, a religious figure. Music, a band you might follow together. Movies, specific horror movies you do together. Since I am a fitness guy, couples that train together, stay together. I always tell that to couples I see at the gym hahahah…
They usually get a little kick out of it. I always tell them this is more important than you can realize. I say, its because you are doing this together. And not that one can’t go to the gym by themselves, of course, they can, that works too…
There is something special about doing difficult hobbies together. You build it as a team. Team Us… Team We… The most important team there is… I am pretty shocked more people do not put that first in their relationships. I know that is my goal when I think relationship goals… I put the team 1st and what I want comes 2nd. Always nice if both go together, they don’t always, but they could. In order to love anyone, you must love yourself, 1st. If one cannot do that, they will never be satisfied in their relationship.
Guy doesn’t like independent Woman, so guy puts woman down to make himself feel that he is better. Well, if he wants to be better, match her work ethic, match her body of work, match her effort. Match her love for what sets her apart from others. OR… PERHAPS… Just SUPPORT the FK outta of her… I mean in this day and age not all men can be better than the woman so support the woman. She will take care of him if he truly supports/supported her…
There I did it!!! I put a positive spin on this… Ha, I knew I could do it.. Just a little work and not even 4 pages of rubbish… Was at the gym trying to find a way to END THIS BLOG…
A Song came on that I loved when I was growing up. Played it all the time.. Back when we had cassette tapes and something called THE MIXTAPE… Yes… Young people, look it up, it was called effort… What we did, when we liked a girl… We made her a mixed tape. It was a metaphor with songs that described how we felt about her because as growing boys into men we didn’t know how to actually say it without sounding like a goofball.
I guess that doesn’t matter now, because Love is goofy like that.. So the mixed tape… That was it… It was a creative way to show it without dealing with the anxiety of having to say it. Nowadays, guys just cave to anxiety and don’t say or do anything. Guy’s you lost her before you even really had her.
I have let a few ladies over the years slip right past me because of that mentality. My mind was never on the goal. It was always somewhere else.. Support her aspirations, support her goals and you will find a woman that will stand by you in failure. If your great failure his her then all you will have is the holding of hands as a distant memory… Shining Bright in the Sky… The Stars Align…
All I really wanna do is make a gal smile so big that it becomes an addiction. I want to be addicted to my lover and I want her to be addicted to me. Team Us, Team We… Lay it on the line. What is everyone so scared about? If you are true to your feelings you can’t fail. If you are not then, well, maybe those people deserve to be alone.
“Wild thing – Oh, we all got some kind of wild thing that went through our lives and made it Hell. ‘Cause everyone’s had one you and me, nobody likes to lose; and you know she’s out there laughing at you. I don’t care if it was last week or third grade; Someone broke your heart, what was her name? Wild thing…” Sam Kinison…