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A friend told me something over the weekend that really clicked. She wasn’t the first one to tell me these things, but I would say after like the 5th person telling me this, mostly females. I have begun to give it some serious thought.

My personality, my being, is just too big and grand for this small town/family life hillbilly bullshit mentality. As its fine to get married, have kids, gain weight, become lazy, drink Busch Lite, go fishin’ and do every little thing you have in life for the next generation. There is a flip side to that life.

I was never meant for those things. Nope. I was meant to do the extreme opposite. I have fought against it doing what I am doing with my life since I graduated High School. One of the 1st and only things I learned in college that made any damn sense was in Philosophy.

If you go against what you are supposed to do, you will not find any joy, excitement, love, happiness with that alternative. The more you push against it, the more it will suck for you. Well, it wasn’t exactly how it was delivered, but that is how I perceived it.

That is what I have been doing. Knowing, not thinking, but knowing I was supposed to do something different than what everyone else has done. I have made excuses for this for years. Some call me heartless or a sob for not lifting a hand to help anyone outside myself. That isn’t true. I help people all the time. I just do it in ways that actually help them and not what they think they might deserve or be entitled to, do not let me get started on self-entitlement, ugh, that struggle… 

I have made it a point in life to let everyone know, “no one has the right to demand anything from me. Nor, am I willing to grant any such demand.” This isn’t news. I have always been like that. I have been an ass here and there, not to be mean, but out of frustration, knowing I am in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong people, doing all the wrong things. Yeah, I know it’s my fault. I am to blame. I openly admit that. The older I get the worse it gets.

I don’t know why I continue to waste my life here doing nothing of great importance for me, to my family, to my friends. It’s just a huge waste of time, energy, love, resources, passion and intention.

Everything with me is usually a sarcastic punch in the gut, lol. I make no apologies for holding grudges and giving people dirty looks when they earned so much more than that. I am a great person, a great personality. I do the work and it only takes a few or one to set me back so many months. My one true weakness… I am an emotional being and I give a shit when my feelings are hurt…

The thing that bugs me the most is most that go there don’t even realize they did it. That is how far gone most have gotten. They are so wrapped up with themselves they don’t even notice they just walk over someone and their feelings. Yet I am called the asshole or selfish one, laughing-out-loud…

REALLY???
Really… Ha… yes, really!

…The Attitude Era…
5/27/2015
by David-Angelo Mineo
568 Words